It's been a while since I posted and I have been thinking about it a ton. I really want to focus on some super fun stuff but I've been reflecting a lot lately and I'm feeling a different kind of post tonight.
My husband and I have been married almost nine years and we met over twenty years ago. It seems that since ever since we met we've been some kind of friends. I never imagined I would fall in love with him but 17 years ago I was smacked in the face with it. We spent a lot of years drifting in and out of one another's lives. The crazy thing is that no matter how much time we spent apart we always picked up right where we left off.
We have such a history together and I love it! When my daughter was a baby I prayed daily for God to prepare the heart of the husband he had for me and Daddy he had for her and that he would prepare mine as well. I firmly believe that God did exactly what I asked for.
God is so good at what He does and we can rarely recognize it in the midst of our lives. My husband is not the biological father to my oldest daughter, however, he happened to be at the hospital the night she was born. He knew immediately that he was supposed to be her Daddy but didn't know why he knew. He could never stay away from her too long and their bond was always tight. He also cared for me unlike most friends. He seemed to have this desire to make sure I provided for and taken care of. When life was hard I could call him and his response would be, "I wish I was there so I could hug you." He was genuine and cared for me so very deeply. I didn't realize it then, but I loved him for how deeply he cared.
We had been in a relationship for a few years and things were rocky. My daughter was around two and life was getting hard. It all went wrong one night and he DUMPED me. I remember watching him leave and wondering how I would have screwed it all up so royally. I was sad for me and sad for my daughter. A few weeks later it was Father's Day, which I had grown to not enjoy. We went to the same church and he was asked to sing a song during the service. The song was about being a father to a daughter. I will never forget the pain I felt for my daughter and the loss she would undoubtedly feel because of my inability to keep it together. In that moment, my heart broke so completely for her and what I could not give. Then it seemed like the very next day, he was gone. He got a new job and moved away. We were so far apart he felt like he couldn't even tell me.
We spent several years living in seperate states. However, we always stayed in touch. He even took my daugher and I on vacation with him. I couldn't have asked for a better friend. The on again, off again relationship we had did take it's toll on our lives. We made poor choices and they drove a wedge between us. I still loved him with my whole heart. Nothing ever changed that.
He moved away for the first time in 1996 and wouldn't return for good until 2002. Of course, we kept in touch. We spent some really great times together.
When he moved back to our hometown, he had a few goals.... 1. Be closer to family 2. Get a good job and most importantly 3. DON'T get back together with Laura
He moved back in August. Shortly after, his mom moved to New Mexico, he a hard time finding a good job and by October 2003 he had not only fallen in love with me again but we were married! How's that for planning? Like I said, god has a way of getting things done.
While there have definitely been some hard years, they have only proven to drive us closer together. He is my best friend EVER.
We actually had a conversation about our marriage recently and in the end we decided that our relationship is as good as it is because we are the closest of friends and regardless of everything we know about one another we choose, everyday, to work this marriage out and to love each other.
He is my soul mate and I don't deserve him. He has been my rock, my provider, my leader and my love and who could ask for a better Daddy and Popop!
I can't believe that God would choose to bless me with this amazing man. I pray that I am all he needs me to be in this marriage like he is for me!
I can't wait to spend the rest of my life loving this man!